Fifty Shades Freed (review)

I finally finished the illicit trilogy and what a ride it was.
If you've read the reviews of the two books preceding 50 Shades Freed then I have little new to say.

The pages of this book are stilled filled with mind numbing conversation, spiced up with elaborately described sex scenes and a female behavior I'd be ashamed for.

Christian and Ana are married now and continue for the length of this novel to call each other Mr and Mrs Grey. (annoying as hell!)
Of course he's still a control freak who overreacts at every little thing.
Of course she's still overwhelmed by him, but doesn't seem to notice that she defies him at every point possible.
Of course they fight and have sex and fight some more only to pause for a little sex.

And they got the good ending, of course.
(which is a major spoiler, I know, but what did you expect?)

At the end of the novel  you're rewarded with a few chapter of the latest book in this universe. Grey.
Well, it reminds me a little of a project Stephenie Meyer almost undertook (Twilight seen through Edward's eyes).
It probably won't make my reading list, but hell I might cave and read it anyway.

Fifty Shades Darker

Can I ask you a question?
Yes.
(said question is asked)
Offended Grey.
Very visual and electrifying sex scene.
Gratification.
And repeat..

I'm not being overly harsh on this novel, when I inform you that this is pretty much two thirds of the novel.

Not that you mind much, because you know what you are getting into when reading this novel. You don't expect high end literature, you don't expect to think, there's no need to feel engaged in their life, this novel is purely based on satisfying the carnal needs of its readers, happy ending included.

The story picks up where 50 Shades of Grey left us.
The infamous couple is broken up and already undernourished Ana is starving herself further..
but do not panic. It's doesn't take long for them to reunite and kindle their passion once again, leaving the reader sometimes breathless in the process.
Ana is getting to know the elusive Christian Grey better, but the process is long and painful - this time for the reader, instead of Ana. I think I'd need the safeword when bound and gagged and forced to listen to this novel being read aloud without its sexual scene.
But, luckily in the end EL James turns of her repeat button and I was surprised to be pulled in the story. Of course the happy ever after leaves much to ponder and the very last page is, once again, a very obvious lure into the third novel.

Sweety, if one already turned to this novel after reading the first, I don't think any incentive is needed to read the third novel.

But the story line and narration aside, I enjoyed reading this novel, largely due to its sex scenes.
Where she lacks empathy and realism in the relationship between Ana and Grey, she seems uncanny in painting very vivid and spine-tingling sexual encounters.
And that's what's good about 50 Shades Darker. 
Nothing more, nothing less.

Inbetween: 50 Shades of Grey

I've succumbed, relented, given in to finally reading 50 shades of Grey.
Trust me, it's a rare thing for me to do. Whenever a certain book is being blown entirely out of context merely because it seemed to be the one thing all people want to read at the same time, I'm always the one choosing the book others neglect. Peer pressure usually doesn't have any effect on me. I still never read the Da Vinci Code, another one of those blockbusters that shook the billboards a few years back (probably never will, either).

I guess the only explanation I have for me giving in and reading this novel, is the right mindset when I was browsing books in the library. Partly I blame the books I was reading.. The Sorrow of Belgium is kind of torture in its own magnificent way and I desperately reached for my safe word which to my own surprise happened to be Grey (instead of Yellow ) you'll understand when you read this novel.

I have to confess, when I was growing up I used to raid my mother's closed for her historical, romantic novels, the kind you could buy at every supermarket, each with a tantalizing cover.
Knowing I shouldn't be reading those novels, made them just the more desirable.

50 shades had much of the same effect, although I don't have any closet to worry about. I felt like I was reading something I shouldn't, but it relaxed me more than I could say for the bomb shells that I have been reading lately. There's only so much serious literature one can talk before you just beg for someone to tie you up and whip you with a flogger.
50 shades was a welcome change of scenery.

Now about the book itself.
Does it surprise you when I confess I laughed more than I should? I've read reviews of this novel, most of them burning the thing to cinders, others seeming to have seen the light (none of them inbetween, no one seeing the humor in this book like I did, or maybe I just haven't been reading the right reviews).
Well it's been referenced as a glorification of our rape culture (google it, if you are interested) and as a means to explore a somewhat darker side of sexuality.
To each its own, I guess, but for me this novel couldn't get any better. I admit, the sexual scenes were quite descriptive and good and there are a lot of them. The parts I used to search in my mother's novels when a was an early teen, seemed to be popping at you at every turn in 50 shades.
I don't mind, but if I would've bought this book, I wouldn't keep it in a closet where my daughter might find it in ten years are so. I'm glad that I was introduced to erotica in a more romantic setting, even though it seemed like porn in my inexperienced mind. Imagine a thirteen year old reading 50 shades, impressionable as they are? I think it cause as much damage as the way sex is portrayed on internet.

So, 50 shades, undeniably, only for experienced eyes, preferably not only sexually experienced, but literary as well. Otherwise you do get BDSM workshops all over the place or ranting how this book destroys the equality of gender. Doesn't anyone get how funny this book is?
E.L. James kind of splatters it all over the book..
Maybe a few examples?
Well, for instance, the protagonist, Ana Steele, still is a virgin, allthough being 21 and graduated from college. I'd say, good for her, but highly improbable. Still respect to those still out there finding their right mate, but she is supposed to be very good looking, although with a low self esteem (which in my opinion should've accelerated her sexual bloom, instead of slowing it down) and enough male attention. Each of the guys she meets wants her. Even in her job interview you get the sense she didn't get the job solely because of her degree and experience.
Then, the not eating, damn, if I would go without food for so long, I'd be dead and buried. Or at least extremely pissed, because an empty stomach is a dead set prescription for trouble in my book. And why his determination to make her eat, (her plate should be empty, he doesn't like wasting food? Why doesn't the multimillionare doesn't like wasting food, while the table is filled with every kind of delectable and he throws money at her in every which way? Because he was traumatized in his early childhood?) Well, Grey, I'll let you know one thing! It isn't healthy to be forced to eat everything on your plate, its prone to even cause obesitas later in life. But I suppose that with the exercise he and Ana are getting, she'll burn enough calories to be able to eat a horse or two.
There are other examples, but I've given enough spoilers and I do want you to read this novel. Don't get me wrong, it's a good novel, if you read it in the right mindset.
It could turn you on, well, I'm mighty sure it will turn you on, even if you are ashamed of it. Trust me, E.L. James knows her business. It's the sex life we all want, apart from the BDSM, of course, but it's so unreal that it can only exist on the pages of a book or the cinema screen.
And to close this quite long review, once you start, you will not want to put it down until it's finished.